Absolute Johannes factotum
- SCP-1066 (?)
- SCP-1066 is a seemingly ordinary college diploma from the University of ████ ███, dated 19██. When a man at least 17 years old signs his name on it, he vanishes for 4-10 minutes and reappears four years older, having lived those years as a student at the university and earning a degree in whatever subject he was thinking of while signing. The diploma's text changes to reflect this new degree, but the person remembers only things directly related to their studies. About █% of individuals do not survive this four-year period, with their corpses returning with expected decay. The object is kept in a document box in Storage Site-23 and requires Level 2 clearance for testing.
- Queue for the lying-in-state of Elizabeth II (?)
- The Queue for the lying-in-state of Queen Elizabeth II was a massive public procession that took place in London from September 14 to 19, 2022, allowing an estimated 250,000 mourners to file past her coffin in Westminster Hall. This extraordinary event involved a main queue that stretched up to 10 miles (16 km) with waiting times exceeding 24 hours, alongside a shorter accessible queue for individuals with disabilities. The elaborate organization included hundreds of stewards and volunteers, portable toilets, first-aid stations, and live updates via an official website, though it faced minor issues like incorrect queue location reporting and some controversy over exemptions for MPs. The Queue garnered significant media attention and was widely discussed as a unique social phenomenon, symbolizing the British public's relationship with the monarchy and their perceived national trait of orderly queuing.